Summing Up The Smiths: The Introduction of Wanda

“Why on Earth did you agree to let Scott get a BACC membership? Really, Amy… Are you an idiot?” I like to ask myself that question every month when they draft his membership dues from the checking account.

BACC was all fun and games for the first two weeks for me. Scott included Suzy and me, we rode with him while he played some afternoons, and I was even invited a couple times to play on the weekends. I thoroughly enjoyed my golf outings, but they were quickly nipped by the boss man. He apparently doesn’t enjoy my golfing skills as much as I like to show them off. I am terrible at golfing, I will admit that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t go to the course does it? Yes, it obviously means that I am an embarrassment. I was the redneck at the country club. I was “that girl” that used foul language, slung golf clubs, and indulged in a few beverages. Who wouldn’t want to be with me? Someone could have written a great Country/Western song about me on the golf course. I bet I was quite the spectacle. Scott put a stop to my golfing career this summer and he is slowly weeding me out of all other extracurricular activities that we used to enjoy together.

Now instead of playing in the sand traps she gets to play in dirt holes.

She tripped running full force across the driveway and bumped her little head. It left quite the mark.

Who needs a golf cart? We have a tupperware box.

Another little outing we used to do together was hunting. I really don’t care about shooting any animals, but I liked to use it as an excuse to get out of the house and spend some quality time with the boss man. He even went out and bought me my very own gun one winter. (Speaking of a country song…. Now, this is Country/Western song material.) He bought me that gun and a couple years ago and I have shot it a couple times. Those few shots were just to sight the gun in. That was the end of my hunting career. Now, he goes hunting every single chance he gets and leaves me at home.

After her fall she needed crutches.

I got a little aggravated by all the hunting that he does and showed my redneck side last week. My dad likes to blame my redneck side on my mother, but I think it might be a combination of my mom and the fact that she grew up in Byhalia! But, anyway, I said some pretty ugly things to Scott about his extracurricular activities that I probably shouldn’t have said, but seemed very valid at the time. I was just a tired, ill, and alone time deprived Mama. I think it was pure jealously that heated the argument. The argument didn’t last long, Scott realized how I felt about hunting and golfing, and he spent more time at home with Suzy and I this past weekend. The spat may have been started by me. My redneck side (which deserves a name) sent him a really rude text message. I think I will name my alter ego Wanda. Wanda told Scott that she and her two friends were going hunting next weekend and that they would be leaving town Friday and not returning home until Monday. She told him that he would need to make arrangements for Suzy and for himself. Wanda thought this little message would hit home with Scott. Wanda was wrong. Scott replied, “you better go get signed up for a hunters education class”. The boy had no idea that she was even trying to be a smarty pants or that she was trying to prove a point. He totally missed it. Finally, after about an hour of this texting conversation he figures out that she is being facetious. Wanda failed to prove her point until later that night. Then, Wanda let it all out and got the point made.

Suzy acts a little bit like Wanda sometimes, too. Easton is acting like Scott here, "Please make her stop screaming!!".

E is still trying to get away from her!

I think it is safe to say that Suzy does NOT like Santa.

Wanda went "hunting" this past weekend with two of her redneck friends, Jesika and Laurie and got A LOT accomplished. They stayed at the lake house without the kiddies and had a very eventual weekend "hunting" down Christmas presents. Wanda hadn't even started shopping for her family. It was a chrisis. Every last Christmas present was bought Saturday at the malls in Birmingham! Her redneck tail even went to Bass Pro Shop. She fit riiiiight in.